OK, so what on earth could Valentine’s day – this schmaltzy, lovey-dovey, everything-pink-and-red, uber-commercialized confection of a pseudo-holiday – have to do with fighting and conflict? Turns out, quite a lot… if you dig a bit into its origins.
Like most early saints, the various figures who have been conflated into today’s commonly recognized (by name anyway) “Saint Valentine” were all martyrs. And none have a particularly romantic story, with the exception of a Valentinus in the 3rd Century who was arrested by Emperor Claudius for illegally performing Christian weddings, and eventually martyred.
So again, the commonality they all share is that they died for their faith or beliefs. Though the best do so without violence, martyrdom is inherently the result of a conflict between individual morals, faith or ideology and those held by the wider society to which that individual belongs. Nobody becomes a martyr without having been a fighter, even if they never raised a hand in anger.
I have been very focused so far this year on getting stronger, getting fit. My struggle of late has been against myself, but like many here I also aim to test myself against as many others as possible. We all want to be able to fight, if we should ever have a dire need. But how many of us would fight – with or without fists – and sacrifice for something larger than ourselves?
That struggle – for meaning – is the real lifelong match each of us must fight. For those who don’t like Valentine’s Day as an outpouring of cuddles and cutesy crap, in the true spirit of the Saint(s) for which it is named, I urge you to reflect today on what and who you would be willing to be a martyr for, and savor its importance and meaning to you. Because we fight for fun here, but that is the struggle of life.
Happy Valentines Day, dudes.
Generally don't like getting a "refusal to wrestle me" reply to a request. But I got to hand it to the [unnamed] local man for his honesty. In so many words he made it clear that his reason for turning me down was that I wasn't young and cute and wouldn't get his rocks off. Beats some of the cock 'n' bull reasons I've received, especially from some of the guys who believe they are young 'n' cute.."C'est la vie et la morte."
Last weekend (the first in February), I got to wrestle a new opponent with a very new style, and also got to work out with a great group of guys for a structured wrestling practice. Both left me pleasantly tired and sore… and with much to think on! More on the Sunday wrestling practice in my next blog post.
After much anticipation and multiple times being told by mutual past opponents that we should face off, I met my third opponent for what would be my fifth match on 2/4. We wrestled on a shifting sea of blankets over a hard wood floor that was uncomfortable at times but generally forgotten in the heat of our struggles. This would become my first erotic match, and because it was fairly intimate, the details here will be fairly light.
As soon as I was through the door, we shook hands, and he started shucking off clothes, immediately displaying an eagerness to just get to it! I would learn over our match and through further conversation the next day that for him, wrestling is all about what he did with college roommates: just stripping down and scrapping, wildly but safely. I generally prefer a few minutes to warm up, but hey – I also like to accommodate, so I followed suit and we went at it…
At 6’6”, he was all over the place and frequently I ended up almost hopelessly tied up as we scuffled across the blankets for the first twenty to thirty minutes. We grappled on the ground, trading holds, and while I kept trying to go for a submission – and did prompt him to tap out once or twice – he just seemed intent on grappling, tying me up and being in control. I realized later that – for me, anyway – I will always shoot for more clarity up front about what both I and my opponent are after (not just nudity/erotic but also pins/submissions, style, etc.).
After a while, during a break, he stripped down fully, and looked at me to do the same. Knowing that my profile said clearly and in more than one place that I didn’t want nudity, I was a bit surprised, but politely declined and we continued.
The rest of the match was fun… he persistently went after my tights, tugging them down as we continued to fight. With that crazy reach of his, I couldn’t help his hands going everywhere. Crotches grazed and ground upon faces, hands went into trunks – from front and back – and all sorts of things got grabbed.
So I hadn’t been looking for an erotic fight, but – again, focusing on “a good time for all” – I had fun by going with the flow and found myself letting go of some of the hang-ups that would have kept me from enjoying myself in such a situation just a few months ago. Even with one of my rules – no nudity – essentially broken by force, I felt no concern that he was going to try going further, which is good.
However, I know now to be more assertive and clear with what I’m interested in. I get that some opponents may not really be talkers. However, a minimum of communications would have prevented the torrent of questions that came up after. Once he was hard and it seemed more like sex than wrestling, was I wrong to jerk him off? Should I have just ignored his hard on? Despite my clear statement that I would probably not get turned on while we wrestled, was he offended or hurt by be not getting off as well?
I like the guy a lot, but we are very different and I did not feel comfortable asking about these things after, or the next day during our ride up to Philly for practice there. And he sure seemed to have a great time! Despite it being … unexpectedly sexual… I did enjoy myself and wrote a Recommendation for him. I stand by it, but realized in the days after that ignoring my preference to not get naked wasn’t cool.
The eroticism in general happened naturally enough –albeit with pushing from him – but it also would have been nice to know we weren’t having a straight-up competition so much as the dorm-porn version of one. In the absence of clarity (or any direction, really) from my opponent, I did what seemed natural and had some fun in the process. I hope he did too, though I was left feeling like I had done something wrong or somehow not measured up. But then, to what, I do not know.
Lessons have definitely been learned for next time about clear communication of expectations up-front. I do look forward to wrestling this guy again, though I’m not sure if I’ll go with the erotic flow again. I’d really like to take him on in a clear-cut competitive match on our mutual buddy’s mats to see who comes out on top in a non-sexy way some time, lol. Hopefully soon.
Thanks for reading!
This isn't really a rant as such, but some guys are constantly posting naked pictures, or pictures of just their cocks..
This is, I thought, a fighting site not a sexual hookup site - so are they necessary or even wanted?
Hello world of MF.
I had debated doing a blog for this or not, but the situation has left a bitter taste in my mouth so I wanted to share my feelings and thoughts.
So I received a message from a member yesterday asking to meet up. This individual had messaged before (during which he'd been quite rude and abrasive) and I had told him upon his apology that it was accepted but I wouldn't be meeting. Ignoring his further correspondence didn't stop this so upon being asked if I was 'ever going to man up' and meet him I sent a no interest and then blocked further communication as it remained unproductive.
Half an hour later I receive a message from advising me that he had gone into the chatroom and stated he had met with me yesterday and that I had pulled a knife out on him.
This is a situation I never expected to find myself in, and in general I found it quite shocking and stressful. Immediately I had to try to 'clear my name' for an incident that had never occurred. Though that isn't the main issue I'm wanting to talk about (as it has now been dealt with thanks to the work of the admin team of MF who I appreciate their quick response). Although I tried to laugh it off afterwards it still was a horrid situation to encounter.
What I wanted to stress to everyone is the importance of resilience in this world, and I guess compassion. It's horrible being rejected, I can appreciate that. I've been rejected many times and it stings every single time, and maybe I too need to thicken my skin. But it's one thing to be hurt and annoyed and another to try to destroy someone's reputation and create false accusations to terrify others. So I implore everyone to take a moment to process before reacting. The fight or flight response when you're under stress or in the throes of rage is not productive or helpeful for yourself or anyone, so take a moment to think of your actions, take a breather before you respond to make a more sensible decision.
Secondly compassion, something I perhaps lacked in this matter. I made a judgement and in honesty I don't think i handled it in the best manner. Perhaps there were more productive ways I could have communicated, but I had dealt with the behaviour previously and I had a negative perception going into the conversation. So to those messaging people, I hope you like me now make to have a little compassion and kindness for each other, we are all here for our interests and fun, not to hurt anyone. So I hope we all spread love and kinship to one another (what with V-Day coming up seems relevant to release my inner hippie).
The matter is dealt with and at this point in time the individual has been suspended, if he returns I may have to deal with that when it comes to it, but I hope that I've learnt something from this and in turn those who read this take time to contemplate the points I raised.
Let's have a good rest of the year people. In closing to cheer people up here is a picture of a 'hot dog'
N00b : )
"There have been great champions in every generation." Andy Roddick . Source: www.brainy quote.com
I noticed that my friend Steve was unusually quiet in the office on Friday.
" What's up Steve ", I asked..
" What am I going to do, Carl?" asked Steve.
" I met this young man on Fighters and..." his thoughts began drifting.
" I like this young man a lot.""
"Okay. How old is he , Steve?"
" Thirty ." His head dropped.
I cleared my throat. " Ahem. Steve, how could you become attracted to your opponent within one week?"
" Carl, it just happened. "
"May, I see his picture?"
"Sure." Steve showed me the picture.
" I can see why. He is handsome. Is the feeling mutual, Steve? "
" Yes. We have spoken on the phone everyday. "
" Everyday? How did this attraction started?"
" Well, Carl. We saw each others profile and the next thing I knew: " Oops , there it is."
" So, what's the problem, Steve? "
" The age difference is the problem. "
I looked hiim straight in the face. " Steve, if you mess up this, I will personally kick your butt. What is the matter with you? Have you been wanting someone for a long time? Someone special? "
" Yes, I have Carl, " Steve replied.
" I know that twenty years is a gap. However, my question to you is are you willing to bridge that gap?"
Steve took a moment s thought." Of course."
I looked him straight in the eyes. " This young man is interested in you. Give him a chance, bro."
Steve thought about it. " You are right, Carl. I will give him a chance."
"Besides, you will have the opportunity to enjoy each other's company."
It was the big day and Steve was nervous. His opponent was younger and stronger than him. Steve was only 5'8" , 170 pounds. Mike, his opponent was 6'2 , 220 pounds. Steve hears the door bell.
" Who is it?"
" It is Mike." Steve invites Mike in.
They bear hugged each other.
" it is good to see you, Mike, " said Steve.
" Likewise, Steve."
" Make yourself comfortable. You want a bottled water? "
" I will get the bottled water and you change in the bedroom. " Mike goes into the bedroom changes. When Mike exits the bed room, he is donning a blue pair of speedos.
Steve brings Mike the bottled water. After they finished, Steve asked Mike are you ready to roll. Mike replies sure. Steve removes his clothes and dons a pair of red trunks. They head toward the mat. They shake hands and begin to wrestle.
Mike tries to go for a quick takedown, but Steve avoids it. Steve then gets into position to scissor Mike. Mike can't escape and Steve continues to apply pressure on the hold. Finally, Mike taps out.
Round two and both men return to the middle of the mat. Steve tries to put Mike in a bearhug. However, Mike escapes and gets behind Steve and puts him into a rear choke hold .Steve tries to escape, but Mike continues to tighten the hold. Steve starts to become light headed and eventually taps out.
Round three and both guys agree on a match based upon points. Whoever gets pinned, loses. Both men begin in the neutral position, with a basic wresting stance. Steve tries to GI for a basic take down, but Mike sprawls. Mike gets behind Steve and scores two points. He continues to ride Steve until round one is over. Mike picks up a point for riding time. Score is 3-0.
Round two and Mike concedes the referees position to Steve. Mike escapes and the score is 4-0. The guys start in neutral position and Steve scores a quick takedown on Mike. Score is now 4-2. Steve rides Mike to the end of round two and Steve scores a point. This makes the score 4-3.
Last round, Mike has top position and quickly takes down Steve. He continues to ride Steve. Next , Mike puts Steve in a gut wrench forces Steve on his back. Steve tries to do an arch, but Mike's strength is too much. Steve shoulders touches the mat and Mike pins Steve. End of match.
" Good match, Mike, " said Steve.
"Likewise, " replied Mike.
"Maybe, we should make this on a regular basis.'
" That sounds like a plan to me, Steve, said Mike.
" Listen, how would you like to spend the rest of the weekend with me? "
" Sure. I would like that, Steve. I think that we will become good friends.,'"
" Me too, Mike. Me too."
They hugged each other and both of them collapsed to the mat. They were both immersed in sweat.
The day finally came and Steve was experiencing both excitement and nervousness. The reason was because he was wresting a younger and a larger opponent. Steve is 5'8, 170 . His opponent, Mike is 6" 2", 220 pounds. Steve was wearing, a muscle shirt, shorts, and flip flops. Suddenly, Steve receives a phone call .
"What's up, Steve? Ready for your match?"
"Yes, Just a little nervous.,"
"You will be just fine. You will enjoy yourself. Trust me."
Suddenly , Steve phone beeps. " I have an incoming phone call. It is Mike. I talk with you later. Thanks for the call, Carl'.
" Have fun, Steve. " Steve switches over to answer Mike's call.
"What's up, Mike.?"
" Nothing much, Steve. I am five minutes away from you. Are you ready to wrestle? "
"Sure. I am looking forward to it, young man.."
" Me too, sir. See you in.a few."
" Yes, Mike. In a few. Later." They disconnect.
Steve checks around the house . After he finishes, the door bell rings. Steve goes toward the door.
"Who is it?", Steve asks
" It' s Mike. "
Steve opens the door and invites Mike to enter.
" Good to see you, Mike ", said Steve.
" Likewise, Steve. "
They bearhug each other. Mike is wearing a tank top, shorts, and sandals.
" Do you want some water? I know it is warm outside ."
" Please, sir. Thanks."
" You are welcomed. Look , the bed room is there, once you become comfortable and want to change clothes. I will get you a bottled water."
"Thanks, Steve. I am going to change into my gear, now."
" No problem, Mike. " Steve goes and get the water': Steve enters into the bedroom and changes into his gear.
i have known and wrestled rob england for over five years now and they doint come much better thats for sure yes he is good but warm kind and very helpfull the last time we met at his was the 22 i 2017 were i stayed over night again great host you must meet this guy im happyt to give you is details just ask