pshawfocus's blog

Brief enforced break

Typical, the start of the near year, the days are gradually getting longer and brighter (I hate dark, winter days), I've been taking advantage of the lack of winter travelers to enjoy a couple of cheaper trips across to Europe (incl. a great visit to Paris which elicited two fantastic GP meets) and it all gets curtailed when...I have to have an op on my back. Only a small op but darn, spring is in the air and I wanna meet some guys for GP! Thankfully less than a week later and recovery is going well, no bruising, the swelling is quickly abating and there don't appear to be any unplanned aftereffects. So, hopefully by early-April I'll be up for some GP.

At the end of last year I set-up a few searches on Meetfighters to provide lists of guys who have selected gut punching as an interest on their profile. The searches run for various locations - UK, France, Italy, Spain, Belgium etc and the resulting lists can then be sorted into most recent additions. I message some of the guys and say hi if they call out GP in their profile text, their stats match the kind of guys I like to meet (slim, athletic, average) and the profile looks 'genuine' (sic). But of late, quite a few have responded with radio silence or well, radio silence. It's not that they read my message and check out my profile and decide I'm not for them (fair enough), they simply read the message and then do nothing. Maybe they don't know how to check out a profile from a message (highly unlikely), maybe what I write is off-putting (hi, welcome to MF, I'm into GP like you, want to meet?) or maybe it's something else? For those guys who do read my profile but don't respond (a bit rude to be fair), maybe they've been blitzed with messages as a new joiner to MF so are taking a while to work through them. That idea could hold water but naturally when I re-run the same search a couple of months later...these guys have still not met anyone.

Maybe....those that do read my profile think sheesh he's ancient (not quite, though I tend to avoid messaging guys in their early 20's as I very much doubt they'll want to meet me). Do they think I'm too old / unfit for them? I'd hope my profile pics and recommendations would dispel that theory but obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sure, I'm no oil painting - ahahaha - but I'm pretty content with my physique and my abs are up for any challenge :-)

So, I've no great idea or solution to this, it's just a bit of a head scratcher to ponder whilst I recover. I have a pal in Milan who has messaged me to meet up again (we last met when I lived in New York). A late April trip to warm and sunny Milan for a weekend of hot GP? Count me in!

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Last edited on 3/17/2018 8:12 AM by pshawfocus
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Comments

2

ruffnhard (119)

3/17/2018 1:36 PM

Glad to hear you are recovering from your operation well.

Don't scratch your head too hard over these guys, it's simply the Gridr, Scruff, and other gay app generation joining up here.
On those apps it's common practice to ignore or block anyone who messages that they might not have an interest in.

I make it a practice to send a "welcome" message to anyone in my region when they first join, nothing pushy, just a friendly hi if we have matching interests... I'm noticing more and more that my messages are being ignored by the new guys, and if I check their profile 6 months to 1 year later they still have zero opponents... so no loss.
Another thing I notice is that these same guys spend most of their time in the chat room, so now when I see a zero past opponents profile who is always in chat I just write them off as another fantasy player.

Lately if my friendly welcome message is unanswered I've sent a follow up message pointing out that this is not grindr, we are a community where members communicate, that a simple "Thank you for your charming welcome, but I don't feel we are a match" will suffice.
Needless to say most then delete their profile... my job is done! :)

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ikf (23 )

3/18/2018 10:27 AM

My strategy, in general, is to assume 90-99% of new profiles are fake profiles - until proven otherwise. So I suggest you, too, view your response rate in that light. Cast a wide net so that you don't miss potential genuines, but do not expect a high response ratio.

On the positive side, I did recently have some first responses back 2-3 months after my original inquiry.

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