osakarob's blog
DON'T ASK!!!
There is no more exhilarating of a thrill than the anticipation that comes before meeting a new opponent for the first time, is there? So many questions run through your mind: "Who will prevail? Who is strongest? How will this match go?" New opponents bring out so many questions.
But actually *ASKING* too many questions before or during a match can ruin the experience for some people.
(I'm not talking about the kinds of questions that you and your opponent need to determine beforehand: things like fighting interests, match style preferences, safety, and the logistics for setting something up. Those questions are usually benign. And having a platform like Meetfighters where you can chat, email, and peruse your opponent's past experiences is really an incredible blessing!)
But during the meet-up itself, I've met opponents who really don't want to be asked a lot of questions.
And for guys like these, some questions seem to be *particularly* off-limits: "What do you do for a living?" "Are you married?" "What is your sexual orientation?" Those kinds of questions often get a "DON'T ASK" kind of reply.
I'm a pretty open person and probably suffer from that stereotype of Americans in that I ask a lot of questions when I meet someone new. I don't mean to be rude or sound like I'm prying - usually I'm just trying to quickly establish a social bond because wrestling feels like quite an intimate act.
But I've learned to be less inquisitive. These days, I won't push if I get the feeling that my conversations are being met with a DON'T ASK kind of vibe. But it is difficult to know where the line is. Meeting someone because you have a shared wrestling interest doesn't mean you have to open yourself up completely. But I admit I sometimes struggle with how much to inquire before reaching the DON'T ASK limit.
How about you?
JasonFL (23)
5/16/2020 3:11 AMDuring the match questions can be intrusive.
Afterwards is probably a better time for "afterwords".
osakarob (79 )
5/16/2020 7:57 PM(In reply to this)
Jason, I didn't really mean asking questions literally "during the match". I meant asking questions during the duration of your time together - usually breaks between bouts and the like.
But I agree with you, after the action can be a good time to bond.
nu2rasln (42)
5/16/2020 4:57 AMI find that I we had asked all those questions before hand. But during a match I still find it nice to ask and get answers while wrestling as well. I can multi task and there is nothing better than hearing a strained response from your opponent while being controlled in a match. Its all good in my book.
Sparrhawk (9)
5/16/2020 7:25 AM(In reply to this)
The strained responses from your opponent are enormously satisfying. I even like hearing them breath hard during the struggle. I like asking if they submit. I also like being asked and telling my opponent an emphatic "No!"
stormwrestle (6)
5/16/2020 1:53 PM(In reply to this)
I feel the same way too. I never mind if folks ask me questions...during a match it might take me a minute to catch my breath to try to answer, but I like it! Nothing wrong with getting to know your opponent at all....before, during, or after.
Sparrhawk (9)
5/16/2020 7:21 AMI agree. Setting up a match is exciting. A special kind of thrill comes when you meet your opponent for the first time. When he takes off his shirt to get ready for the match, the anticipation rises. There's always some tension/worry when you first lock up, but in most cases you settle into a fine game of strength vs strength and skill vs skill.
After establishing what kind of match you want, I don't ask too many questions.
There's only one time where I regret not asking for more info. Although one guy I met for a match had several good recommendations, he was VERY particular about what kind of moves were "allowed." We had agreed to a light submission match, but every time I got the upper hand, he told me to stop because he didn't want that move to be "legal."
I locked him into a chicken wing, and he told me "Stop! I don't want you to twist my arm. It's illegal."
We tied up again, and I went for rear-naked choke. He yelled, "STOP! No chokes allowed!"
I kid you not. He even yelled "Stop!" When I applied a headlock because I wasn't allowed to touch anything above the shoulders.
He outweighed me by 40lbs and it seemed like all he wanted was to squash me with his weight. I told him that wasn't wrestling and he proceeded to lecture me about the type of wrestling he liked.
From then on, I always ask guys what type of moves they like and if they have any special stipulations on matches. Everyone has a technique or two that they don't want to be part of the match. That's fine, but it felt like this guy wanted to pause the match any time I got the upper hand.
Other than that, I generally don't care to know personal info unless they want to share. It depends on how talkative my opponent is.
ngw60 (0)
5/17/2020 4:46 PMI have a tendency to be very transparent so I try to be sensitive to make sure I don’t ask too many questions.