olderfun's blog

I feel like that when I read a profile says NO SEX but then says wrestle for top. Some of those same guys offer loser blows winner matches so I concluded that sex to them has to be penetration not oral or jack off. And I'm okay with that.

In my experience, the guy who has "No Sex" and "Wrestle for top" on his profile does not know the meaning of the latter.

my only conclusion. And its out there a LOT.

obviously I can't speak to everyone that has it, but as one that does I'll explain my own reasoning.

I'm open to either option. My priority is the wrestling so I'm good with there being "no sex". however if someone did want to "wrestle for top" then (assuming attraction) I'd be willing to discuss it.

I think having both just shows you're not locked in to one form of encounter.

I guess some guys aren't into labels. Whatever. That's fine with me.

Might depend on your previous experiences. If you’ve jacked off with your mates, then you might not find that to be gay at all.

I'm "Straight".
Even though I get a hard on when I do fun, slow, Pro or Pro- mission wrestling or exchanging gut punches.
But for me, it's all about the SENSUALITY not the SEXUALITY.
I'm a jobber by nature . . . and nipple play and ab caresses both drive me NUTZ with pleasure ! 😁
For me, the physical contact, some pain in holds, and heel/jobber role-playing is amazing fun !

I agree with you. Anymore, it doesn't matter to me about the other guy's sexual orientation. I'm a heel and totally agree it's a fun, sensual experience and I love making him feel that mix of pleasure and pain.

Totally agree with you man. Some guys just too quick to yell GAY. I could care less because if we’ve communicated a good bit and we agree to have fun during and after wrestling then it’s fine with me and I won’t think you’re gay. Great guys on here for great fun!

Totally agree with you man. Some guys just too quick to yell GAY. I could care less because if we’ve communicated a good bit and we agree to have fun during and after wrestling then it’s fine with me and I won’t think you’re gay. Great guys on here for great fun!

I'm gay. I have no desire to do any of this with a woman.

A homosexual encounter by any other name smells just as sweet. Sorry Will.

This is my favorite response to this question and I agree 100%.

Though like Brown Bomber I always find the No Sex/Wrestle for Top confusing.

However if it was a good enough distinction for a former American President, who are we to disagree.

But after a few years on here, I've come around to the opinion - sometimes people spend more time on the photos and not the actual words of their accounts, people arent always sure what exactly they want from a match ... and if you have any doubts or confusion about what the other guy really wants, - ask.

As for naked wrestling I had never considered that overtly erotiv. There is a weird over sexualised and under sexualised contradiction in reaction to men's bodies.

When women admire other women figures, or men checking out other men's bodies in the gym for example- I wouldn't say that was homosexual but homosocial. Competitive more than carnal.

The same with the jacking off. If they are doing it to themselves just with company, that's a bit different to using someone else's hand to do it.

As for yanking on someone's nipples, I was surprised that was considered erotic. Seemed an easy way to distract an opponent and inflict a little pain - and frankly MMA matches would probably be more improved by it's inclusion

I went to a gay bar the other night that on wednesdays it's a naked session.........Accordingly some guy started sucking me off then wanking me before asking what made me cum to which i said usually if someone fingers my bum..............Sorry, i dont do that I'm not gay he said.....True story :)

LMFAO.
They say about art that : "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Maybe sex should be : "Sexuality is in the hand of the HOLDER" ? 😁

Bhahahahahaha that’s awesome!

🤣🤣🤣I needed the laugh🤣🤣🤣

So, being in a gay bar, sucking and jacking a guy in the bar, asking what gets you off......not gay. But anything to do with the ass.......gay. So, did he think the oral stuff and jacking kept him "straight"? Me thinks this man is a bit confused.

If u wrestle another dude and u get boned I dont think ur straight

^^^^ is a really stupid take.

Whatever dude

To me, straight just means you like fanny (that's the front hole this side of the pond) but you're not interested in cock. Wrestling by itself isn't a gay activity, I guess that back in the day our forefathers wrestled each other for the hottest women, and probably wrestled naked.
The minute you show any interest in cock, though, you're gay, or at least bi, even if you do want to spell it S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T. Just get out of the closet.
For me, a wrestling bout is a way of bonding, testing your muscles, showing off your body, smelling sweat and getting close, and if it ends up with both of you naked and penetrative sex, bring it on!

There is a lot of homophobia in western societies which are supposed to be more advanced. There is still a lot of guilt admitting being gay. Back in the 80s and 90s due to aids … wrestling as body contact was the safe way to get some steam of…without sex… after 30 years societies instead of going forward … they going backwards…racism is going up …lots of people in here no matter their sexual orientation they are not sexually liberated… you can tell that even from the pictures that are posting…for many here I guess speedos briefs tights are too gay!!!
To my mind lots of people in here like everywhere need professional help… admitting their truth.

I don’t think someones sexual identity is really something you have the right to critique. I don’t see why it’s even worthy of a post.

So much then for freedom of speech!.............It's not what is said it's how it is said.

Not really, as this ‘freedom of speech’ then infringes on someone’s freedom of expression and identity.

Gone a bit quiet there WS? I mean you’re quick enough to jump on my comment to try tell me my point is wrong… but you don’t want to reply when presented with a rational argument for why people my identity as heterosexual.

Also I really don’t think it’s anyone’s fucking business. I mean if your agenda includes someone’s sexuality then fuck off and use Grindr.

It’s not nice to tell someone to fuck off..and dictate what site to use. Meetfighters is like Grindr for gay guys into wrestling. It’s also str8 friendly…it’s not only for serious wrestlers like you.
It has lots of options in here and many guys use wrestling as a fetish… cause of injuries….cause they like the body contact… so try to be nicer…from what I can see wet speedos has a good taste in gear and a decent body to wrestle with, so it will be a shame to leave meetfighters for grindr.

Oh wait what about freedom of speech? Also I wasn’t suggesting he use other sites, it was a general response to that mindset.

I am a nice person I just can’t stand dickheads who feel they can question other peoples identities.

Thanks for calling me idiot in private mr nice person.

Totally agree. People's sexuality - how they label themselves - is their own to define. People - gay, straight, bi and otherwise - need to hone the art of letting people "be," as opposed to expecting them to fall into preset boxes.

I know gay guys who'd love to sleep with a woman. The only thing they lack is courage. Does that mean their actually straight? I think it means their human. And love, attraction, and sexuality are complex notions. Let's not boil it down to "he got hard while we wrestled so he must be gay."

To SamuraiJack's point, no one expects the men here to fall into preset boxes – the fact is, they choose those boxes themselves. By checking the straight box they are labeling themselves. So to men who took the bold move to actually come out as gay, with all its potential difficulties, it can be seen as cowardly, an act of passing, to label yourself straight and enjoy all the hetoerosexual privileges our societies confer while also enjoying the pleasures of gay sex. The great thing about Meetfighters is that you needn't check any box if you don't want to. But if you label yourself as straight and also tick off the boxes for nip play, j/o, wrestle for top, etc., it's going to raise questions like the ones that began this discussion in the first place. And given that this is a majority gay member website, the questions are fair.

I am amazed in here cause of the tons of open minded people that they are not into labels…or appearances …. I love the stereotypes like when watching movies with str8 guys afraid to hug cause the hug it might be too gay… I wonder do they like wrestling cause it has close body contact of course when competitive no time for a hard on ..… i love the definition of the word bisexual in papyrus Larousse Britannica… and I love that the greatest fantasy that gay guys have is to turn their sexy straight friend into a gay guy…some of you…you need to watch the movie “ american beauty” and see what suppression does to people……others you need to watch the hbo series “looking” due to the critic eye on gay relationships you might learn something…at the end of day before meeting a guy for wrestling or whatever you heart desires ….do tell what you like expect the same from the other person and if you are compatible enjoy your meeting…

We should feel very fortunate that we all have the luxury of so nuanced a discussion. These matters of identification really are the icing on the cake.

Look at what just happened in Uganda. Those poor gay and lesbian people face death every day.

The fight for basic gay rights in the twentieth century was something far darker than any of this. Something way more than a pronoun or a category.

Those of us who stood up and faced that storm remember it for its brutality and our sense of vindication.
You have to accept that we are protective of that memory.

in my orofile i have bisexual, when you say straight yes, i agree with you.

yes, i am 75, and have a boxing and wrestling fetish, and love the ring, because of physical problms i am slower and non competitive fights, and money restraints, is the downside, but i do hope other wrestlers, female or male fighters do contact me.

I agree with Christos. I found that post very offensive. If you have such strong feelings get into the ring, slig it out and shake hands afterwards.

Thanks Ironbull for the fact that you are agreeing with me.

Freedom of speech does not extend to foul mouthed abuse.

In ten years on this site, I have never seen anyone behave like this. We are a community of fighters and I would ask Admin to step in and take action to protect the standards of conduct here.

🤣 ok Karen

I totally agree with Ironbull

Some guy in here is claiming that he is in favour of the freedom of speech he calls me in private idiot and blocks me. Well I blocked him back. He also claims that he is a nice person.
I m Greek I have passed my proficiency Cambridge exams in English language back in 1996. I m sorry that I can’t comprehend this guy’s sophisticated way of thinking.

The gay sexual identity is under critique all the time. No one infringes anyone in here… the mindset or the mentality, the agenda of someone’s sexuality in here is totally acceptable no need for going to Grindr. Lots of people in here met their boyfriends. So what if someone would have liked the person to write gay since he is into extra “ man time” … instead of writing str8… mister nice person you can do better….

Well from my experience as a professional counselor, I know that str8, bi or gay guys can all can get aroused from many of the same physical interactions. But in order to qualify as gay or str8, a guy has to learn and understand which gender he can reach the deepest level of emotional intimacy with (jacking off, nip play and bjs are not intimate). We have no control over how certain friction and skin contact effects our senses and nerve endings. Kissing, although it is not sexual, can be considered very intimate.
The best thing to do is just ask the guy if he identifies as str8 or gay. No matter what type of physical or sexual experiences he's had, if he says he's straight, I'll take him at his word. Now there are some guys who just aren't sure yet and need some time to sort it out.

I'm with you Olderfun on trying to understand the guys who list themselves as " straight " yet post tight crotch pics in tight gear or post a desire for nipple play, rip and strip , nude wrestling and jack off as a match interest. I take those guys as being " bi " who have that interest in erotic activity with another guy and participate with another guy in those activities. I think they want to say they're straight when they need to face the reality that they are at least bi-sexual. I know some guys just want to jack themselves after a Hot match. Those guys who aren't being physically erotic with another guy would be straight. By posting themselves as straight I'd say they do not want to perform oral themselves nor have penetration happen to them.
We're all adults, and I say clear communication pre-match and especially during the match is best. Guys need to talk and ask each other about what they want and respect a guys limits when he answers. It's best to ask these more bold questions pre match so everyone's expectations can be met during a meet up or to decide if this guy is just not a match for what you desire and are looking for.

@ wrstle-bear, thanks for contributing to the conversation. A lot of guys are using the term bi because it sounds cool. But most of them are still straight. It's harder than you all think to qualify as gay or bi. Posting stuff and getting a boner is not enough. The psychological and emotional elements are most important. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered and qualifiers that need vetting before I can be convinced someone is gay or bi. It's not as simple as everyone is making it.

Babyface, I agree with you completely. I don't like terms either, but I think guys on here try to figure out what kind of match and desires an opponent may have from the descriptions on those profile pages and the type of pics that are loaded for guys to preview. It gets difficult for me when a guy says he's straight yet talks about wanting a number of different erotic elements as his fetish to happen in a match. I tend to think the match with some one classifying themselves as straight then will be just a competitive and non eros leading style of match.

Saying your straight and then saying you want to top a guy is definitely sending very mixed signals and when that happens, I tend to call out a guys term and have him define what he means by being on top or being straight and ask what does he want to happen in a meet up. In this way, each guy can decide if they want to meet up and also decide how sexual they want to be with each other. I sets some limits and boundaries so expectations are put in place for a fun time for both guys or for the group.

Right. This is not about applying labels, its about understanding what is expected. Ambiguity and outright conflicting statements make this hard if not impossible. It is very easy for expectations to be set wrong, adn one or both parties be unhappy when conflict ensues.

Plus, stakes, once, had a fairly specific meaning in context. It seems – for many – to have been tilted to near nothing. But again, I'm sure THAT confuses those who believe it means what it once meant...which I will leave to everyone's imagination.

I go way out of my way to be explicit about what's in bounds and what's out of bounds. As the saying goes, "good fences make good neighbors".

@wrstle-bear & gymrat. Yes I totally agree. Looks like two different threads are intertwined here: Sexual orientation labels in general and what's expected in a match based on the info provided on our profiles. In terms of what's expected in a match, I use a detailed spreadsheet that identifies what will happen in each round, including how to pin and what stakes will be issued and the duration. That way the opponents let me know if they like everything I've presented or if they would like to present their own ideas so that everyone is comfortable. I'm sure everyone is not going to go through that much trouble LOL, but for me it saves time and makes things clear up front.

'I use a detailed spreadsheet that identifies what will happen in each round'............Yeeks!...............This is far too serious and scientific whereas I just like a fun wrestle that both enjoy without being hurt.

I agree with you, communication is the key to success. You really can't over communicate and you shouldn't be afraid to ask any questions that come to your mind.

@wetspeedos - haha 🤣. Yeah I know it sounds like a bit much. However, it's actually kind of fun because it gives us objectives to shoot for. And it's very good for mismatches where one guy is 295lbs and the other is 165lbs. The different objectives give the smaller guy a fighting chance to win a few rounds. For example, one round is a pushup contest and another round requires speed to grab a sock from the opponent's singlet. I have to be very creative when facing opponents twice my size. Otherwise I would lose every round due to being overpowered or weighed down.

Well, I guess I stirred up some responses! To those thinking I was criticizing peoples' use of the word "straight," I was not. I was questioning saying you're straight when you get aroused by physical contact with another man. I find, sadly, that using the word "gay" still has negative connotations, when it should NOT AT ALL! That is the point of my original post. To those who felt I was being critical, I apologize. Self-acceptance is so important. If you are straight, fine; if you are gay, equally fine, but accept who you are, as long as who you are is not hurtful to another person or group.

i am not straight, by no means the human body is to be enjoyed male or female

i AGREE TOTALY.

Whatever the correct definitions, until the second half of the 20th century, homosexuality was an act rather than a category of human nature. The categorisation, largely invented by Kinsey in the late 1950s, played a big part in western tolerance and law reform.

But the underlying truth, I believe, is that homosexuality is an act/feeling that exists in a moment and is available to anyone anytime. Gay/straight is just a rough shorthand referencing a person's general disposition and of course has lots of overlaps and blurred lines.

Even so, if you get sexually intimate with another man, then that is undoubtedly a homosexual act. If you do it a lot, go in search of it and post a profile inviting it, you're pitching your tent firmly in the gay or bi camp. Saying you're straight is stretching a point and sounds like denial. There are better things to stretch.