Boxerboy91's blog

I get the butterflies in the stomach feeling days before I’m about to meet a formidable opponent who has a string of recommendations on here verifying his toughness. That’s why the MF recommendations are key.
And after all, you’re not just protecting yourself, but your woman too. She must feel very proud - or at least I hope so.

I think you are doing all the right things, checking your happy before a meet, avoiding it if something rings alarm bells. I was very nervous with early meets but as time goes on I'm a bit more matter of fact. As long as I don't feel I'm in danger, the worst that can happen is a wasted few hours and then on to the next one. Thankfully there have been very very few meets I am sorry I had.

Man, it's not anxiety, it's common sense.

Agreed. It's common sense.

You are spot on ! it is commonsense ,,,Listen to your Gut!

Yes... And it's a good practice for anything on line

I can really relate to this.

Agreed Too - its common sense...

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

I agree with everything except the "rushing the meeting" part. The vast majority of guys I've interacted with on here claim to want to wrestle but NEVER set a date. It's often a vague lure to get me to keep in touch.

I respect an opponent who makes a date and keeps it. Instead, most guys keep the meeting part floating around in the ether.

I’ve had a fair share of those. Dudes with no previous opponents who’ll say they’ll be coming to your town In 6 months or so. Obviously hanging in for crap chat.

Yes, it's very common. "I'll be coming to your area in 2020 and need an opponent. You interested?" That's one line.

Of course we all have anxiety about meeting new people, whether for job interview or a private jiujitsu match... in the last case, it’s even worse: what about if he’s a former champion and wants more than sport? Will he take his ‘prize’ by force?
So yes, so far I only had very nice opponents, but I’m in the same case than you, I’m eliminating a lot of fakes by discussing a lot with my future opponents. Some people may not appreciate, but I’m looking for friends first. If there’s no connection, what the point to roll together?
And what a great idea to bring your fiancé. My partner is not interested in participating (he’s got a weak shoulder following a surfing injury) but he’s taking great videos and photos when my opponent allows that to happen. And I feel more secure, not that I cannot defend myself, but you’ll never know, someone of the Gracie family may be here and not as nice as in his website 😜

I think most of your red flags are pretty commonly shared. #1 is usually not a good sign unless it seems like, after talking for a while, you've met a "wrestling soulmate" or the guy is in town for only a night or two. #2 is something that should be a conversation ender for almost all rational people, but if it were to happen, it should never be something brought up early in a relationship. Some people might be into trash talking and they may say things like #3 and #4. If they do not want to wrestle after you explain you're not really into that, or ignore your feelings, then you can scratch them off your list of potential opponents.

Fortunately you have a plus one who understands what you're into. If a new opponent takes things beyond your comfort level, she can be the perfect safe person to contact, even if by phone or to call for help. If she is present, another person may think twice about doing something you've stated you do not wish to do.

Just saw this blog. Def well put and something I’m sure many think about

Sometimes I wonder similar things , but fortunately I’ve only had good experiences even around the world. I have heard stories of some creeps though.

Without fear there is no bravery