So this isn't really a blog it's an update of a recommendation. I know, hell fire of meetfighters accuracy protocols will rain upon me but hey I am a rebel and for various reasons it makes sense to continue my short recommendation of a certain unnamed wrestler in this location -
a) because as unnamed wrestler pointed out, I write so much no one can see his other recommendations from better wrestlers (no hint of bitterness)
b) just in case any other fans of unnamed wrestler get jealous he meets me so often and no one ever reads blogs
c) I can write even more bla bla here
d) Since an updated profile always pops to the top, a quick glance might suggest unnamed wrestler only ever meets one person i.e. me whereas he is spreading his wings (very nice lats) all over the matrooms of a certain unnamed Eastern European country.
Anyway I very much enjoy my wrestles with whoever he is, so I set off early to get some extra time in wherever it is. Unfortunately due to only having two hours notice to do his hair he was a little late picking me up. Fortunately he is worth the wait. So a whole day of wrestling, admiring and a bit of socialising followed. I worry that he will get bored of trying to move me around - think determined tug and aircraft carrier but he says he enjoys the challenge and I enjoy his ever improving skills. I also know he could use more, how shall we say - violence against me, but he is too much of a gent to do that. So what's not to like, if this was a recommendation I would tell you to meet him but it's not and you don't know who he is and I want as much of him as I can get, so don't.
How I wonder where you are,
Up above you once appear
Then all of a sudden you disappear, along with one of my flaky past opponents who disappears to rear Yaks or takes up ballet instead of wrestling.
No I am not bitter. The fact that I have met at least 110, probably 120 different opponents and I only get a star when 100 of them bother to stay signed up does not make me
BITTER OR ANGRY AT ALL !
What do I care? It's only a silly star, I am not a number counter but I can't bear to see injustice in the world and can I even find a complain button on this excellent free to use, run by volunteers site? No, so all I can do is express how utterly unconcerned I am about this travesty.
Why don't I just add opponents faster than they drop off I hear you say (you pathetic whinger) and if I didn't live in pigsville by the sea (very nice town just lacking wrestlers) I would certainly chalk them up faster then they can leave the site but as it is, I will just need to live with being a twinkling star - add one, one drops off, add one, one drops off....
Now I have that off my chest I feel much better. Anyone fancy a wrestle?
Just as the millennium wasn't really 2000 years after the birth of Christ (there was no year zero AD folks) my 100th meet will in fact be about my 110th meet of different opponents. For some scandalous reason when someone leaves the site they no longer count as one of your past opponents so like the penny machine at the fair ground I add one on and two or three drop off, the ever elusive 100 star next to my name never appears. Why do I care? Well I don't really but like the millennium, it may have no real significance but it is symbolic. Or put another way - I WANT MY STAR !
To those of you who I met and then decided to leave the site, let me just say -
1/ If you have a boyfriend just tell them you wrestle or keep your secret hobby better hidden so you don't end up being caught out, having relationship threatening fights and have to leave the site
2/ If you are married to a woman just don't get caught
3/ If you decide you don't like wrestling and zumba is more your thing, just leave your profile on here, the little pink egg timer won't kill you, just think of me and my HUNDRED STAR
Having established I am being robbed, cheated and conned out of my rightful star I would now like to advertise for candidates for my 100th official meet. You may say but you are only on 98 what is the rush but I have a horny teddy bear lined up for 99 and I think my100th should be my fantasy perfect wrestler (no offence teddy I am just day dreaming here)
So - my requirements, these are very modest -
1/ Perfect body (to clarify, I have very broad tastes, Brad Pitt, Alec Baldwin in his younger days, Hugh Jackman, most of the cast of Home and Away would all do and I am not a height facist, small but perfectly formed is fine)
2/ Someone who thinks I look good (no point in meeting Brad or Alec if they say what's up tubby?) So that may require someone with sight problems or good acting skills hence Brad, Alec etc etc
3/ Someone who enjoys (or at least doesn't object) to having their nipples played with, purely as part of the art of wrestling obviously
4/ Someone who won't snore when I waffle
5/ Someone who will never leave the site, so that I can forever point to them, blush and say -' I met them, you know'
6/ Either a good wrestler or a good jobber or both, I want to get sweaty
7/ Ideally someone who will meet me more than once (there are some who have you know)
If you fit four out of seven of the above criteria please apply in writing to my profile address, if you fit one or two of the above please also apply or in fact if you have even read this blog and live on the same continent lets meet or if you ever intend to holiday in the UK or have seen any film with said actors or an episode of Home and Away, you will probably do.
What have I got to offer in return -
1/ The longest recommendation you will ever get (who needs five recommendations that say you are a good meet, safe and sane when you can have one waffle fest that fills your whole screen)
2/ A promise that I will never remove my profile, if the cats find out about my secret hobby I will let them blackmail me for catnip before I remove it)
3/ A work in progress but less lardy body, I may still get chunky rather than hunky but the thighs aren't bad and I have something closer to triceps than bingo wings now.
4/ I am pretty reliable, I know it's not glamorous but if I have to cancel last minute it will be due to death, plague or serious injury not just because I forgot Home and Away was on (there is always catch up)
Interested? Anyone? Please......
.... except no one here wants to wrestle. You would think it's a niche hobby or something.
Ok, so I have managed to drag someone up from Essex to meet in Ipswich (which was lovely) but really there must be some guys in Norfolk or Suffolk who don't just want to wrestle on the pig farms (don't say they wouldn't be able to tell the difference wrestling me)
I suppose I have come to realise how lucky I was living in London, it seems like apart from Manchester and London there is just a sea of notmeetfighters. Of course London also has the added bonus of those lovely travellers waiting to be lassoed at the airports and dragged back to my evil lair.
So apart from the lack of Wrestling I thought I might share my thoughts on the positives and negatives of small town Lowestoft -
1/ lovely beach
2/ surprisingly high quality totty, I say surprisingly only because i thought central London had the highest percentage of hotness in the world but downtown lowestoft has quite a nice beef selection as well as some pork.
3/ You don't need to get on the tube
4/ You go into shops and the items are on the shelves, neatly on the shelves rather than on the floor
5/ a lot of people smile and sometimes they just strike up a conversation. Now this does happen sometimes in London but generally if they smile you think they are out of their head on something and if they speak you think they are going to mug you or have missed one too many appointment at the psychiatric unit
6/ people are generally shorter. This is a plus point for me because I don't have any predjudice against short but perfectly formed and I like to feel like a giant
7/ you can wander around at odd times of the day or night, explore back streets and not worry that you might run into a smiling mugger (see 5) Obviously nowhere is crime free but the most dangerous thing here appears to be that they switch off the street lights at midnight. Finding your way home in the dark can be an adventure.
8/ Because of it's, how shall we put this politely, remoteness, no one ever seems to tell shop owners that their chain has been shut down. When was the last time you saw a Wimpey bar? I am sure if I look hard enough I will find a Woolworths.
9/ Things are generally cheaper
10/ There is a chip shop on nearly every corner and they are good chips.
1/ There are chip shops on nearly every corner (I am not smoking but I am on 100 chips a day)
2/The pigeons are huge and make this terrible screechy noise and try to steal your chips (who said seagulls?)
3/ Everything shuts at 530 and I mean nearly everything. The eight oclock Tescos is the nearest to an all night shop in town.
4/ It is all a bit white. I am so used to Tottenham that I nearly had an orgasm over the hot black assistant in JD sports. Thankfully I managed to contain myself and instead had a long conversation about football which anyone will tell you is similar to the Pope discussing gay sex (i.e, not easy or for him natural)
5/ People talk to me. This can be a good point as item 5 above but for a London hermit it is a bit of a culture shock. Thank goodness for self service check outs.
So good outweighs bad by 10 to 5, I would say that is a good margin.
So why you may ask am I writing all this waffle about something that has nothing to do with wrestling. Simples - there is no one here to wrestle! So get on your bikes and out of your farm yards and meet me for a wrestle or I will be forced to make you suffer more waffle blogs.
You have been warned!
When do you count an anniversary from?
If it was a relationship would you count, first glance,first date, first kiss, first use of the love word or first sexual encounter?
When should I count the start of my love affair with wrestling? I joined this site on the 27th February last year but didn't managed to meet anyone till the 23rd of March, so I have chosen today as my wrestling birthday. In case anyone is interested, anything with chocolate or deep fried will be gratefully received as a suitable present. Deep fried and with chocolate, i will take as a marriage proposal.
So one year on, with 12845 messages in my inbox(I have replied to most of them) about fifty meets, one no show, a couple of slightly odd meets but loads of great experiences, I feel like this is a date worth marking (don't forget deep fried food or chocolate)
I have made some good friends, had some great wrestles, been the big bad heel and been the ragdoll in King Kongs fist, tried some gut punching, indulged my love of nipples (only when agreed) and chatted with people who I may never meet but who keep me entertained when the trash on tv is even too trashy for me.
What next? Well I have had almost three weeks without a wrestling meet and I wonder if I have used up all the available opponents. As a professional stalker I do spend more time messaging then wrestling (by a factor of about fifty) and still it seems hard to find new meets. I have learned that there are those who just never meet anyone, to those I say give it a go! And to those who find replying to a page long message too much effort - I would honestly prefer, piss off to being ignored. I completely understand, people have their own tastes, their own age ranges, their own style preferences, weight ranges and for some looks are very important. But to those I would say, don't be too fixated with your perfect match, it is meetfighters.com not match.com. I have had some of my best meets with guys who are not a great match in terms of stats, 17 years older to 23 years younger, three inches taller to a foot shorter, four stones lighter to three stones heavier, from as beautiful as a movie star to as ordinary as, well, me.
So what does that tell you, I am just not fussy? Well partly but I am also open to experiences and love wrestling! So, if you do by any chance read this, why not go outside your usual type and send me a message!
Happy Wrestling Birthday to any other one year olds !